WHEE. (:

Everyday I wake up
wondering how my life will turn out to be.

I'm afraid of what tomorrow yields.

Its with all these insecurities and uncertainties where the Maker shows His amazing power and grace.

You are the peace that guards my heart
My help in time of need
You are the joy that gives me hope
And brings me to my knees

Our human anatomy alone is enough to make one wonder who is that genius behind it all. And just 'genius' is, a definite understatement.

For there I find you waiting
And there I find release
So with all my heart I worship
And unto You I sing

By the time the chorus came on the screen, my voice was choked with tears. I felt so wretched. I didn't feel that I was worthy enough to be proclaiming Him.

For You alone deserve all glory
For You alone deserve all praise
Father we worship and adore You
Father we long to sing Your praise

We sing, yes - but how many of us sing what we mean, and mean what we sing?
How many of us sing His praises everyday?
Not literally singing is praising - but by leading our lives as a daily sign of praise - living for God, not for man. Living according to His decrees and commands. Being pure in speech and thoughts. Loving one another as He has commanded us to.

Me, the incorrigible sinner; this abject, undeserving creature - I can't face Him.
But He still is, and forever will be, there for me whenever I run to Him with problems no man can solve.

And there I find release.

Confessions of an irate supporter.

"Hi Benita,

Thanks for your email and for turning up for Power Jam.
We would have loved to have people of all ages at our party, unfortunately
the rule states that no one under the age of 18 is allowed to be in abar/club where alcohol is served. We didn't have a special cordoned off areathat didn't serve alchohol.

However I would like to point out that the age limit was mentioned many
times on radio, both by myself and the other DJs ofPower 98. This was in the week leading up to the party.

My apologies for you having wasted your time, and hope that we will see youat our upcoming events (which will hopefully not have an age limit)

Thanks again,

Shareen Wong
Manager, Power98FM

Looking for some great radio? Tune in!
Red Hot Radio - Power 98 FM
______

weak. says:
what she's a manager?
.Beni_ smashed. says:
ha i think its because they dont have enough people
weak. says:
okkaayy
weak. says:
LOL
weak. says:
possible uh
weak. says:
safra radio is peanut
.Beni_ smashed. says:
yeah man
_____

Sistah, the radio's not enough.
I tuned in to Power98 today hopefully to hear some mention of RAFE or their song recorded 'live' to be aired.
But alas, all I heard was lousy DJ-ing - all in 10mins.
Mario cut the mike before he finished talking, the commercials came in halfway while he was talking, and Shareen was lagging.

Yeah I'm sore, so what.
Don't tell me I'm being biased - go listen for yourself.

Even though I couldn't be there -
CONGRATS RAFE!!!!!!



Winners of PowerJam - Singapore's Ultimate Band Competition 2004


TO:
Juan, I'm SO, SO, SO freaking proud of you.
:D

Perhaps you'd like to know this comment from some guy incharge of Soft.com.sg (a local music forum) (:

RAFE (someone asked me who I voted, this is the one) Have the good old rock and roll feel. Singer has the charisma. It is very important to stay calm on stage. Me vote - BEST BASSIST

(soft.com.sg, soft, Oct 29 2004)

See more of his comments here
___

Anne, Charmaine and Eve:
Thank you for being the friends I never had - and the best friends ANYONE can ever have.
I thank God for you guys. Really.

Char and Liz when drunk are just about the 8th world wonders of the funniest sights.
I think I'm too bound to the earth for libation to make me drunk.
Just a lot of pee.

Perhaps its a good thing afterall.

Hurhur. Thanks so much for the company and fun today, Serene Liz Gwen and Char!!
The sun was Fantastic today. I'm RED now.
And pooooooped.
Loooong day ahead tomorrow! Goodnight!

Bar None, Monday night blues - Highrise, Ronin and Electrico

It was a fantastic night out @Bar None with Xb and Liz, watching 3 really good local indie rock (Highrise and Electrico, Ronin's more of 'glam rock') bands.

Before the gig started at 9pm, Xb and I were at Far East and we saw Ronin walking about. Xb and Evelyn both know their lead singer, Levan, who's the albino I mentioned in the previous post on the PowerJam Semis gig.
Saw the lead guitarist and female bassist for Zhen while we were waiting for Liz. Both of them are kinda short. Heh.

The place was already almost full with people when we went in at 9.30pm (Liz was late) and Highrise had already started playing. They were okay. It was their maiden gig. Their songs were kinda slow moving, and the lead singer looked like "someone who can act in Growing Up" - in Liz's point of view. Heh. The overall sound there was not too well balanced to me - maybe its because they're focusing more on the music than the vocals, or maybe its because the 3 of us were standing right in front. We squeezed ourselves to the front. Yeah so f-unglam, but hey it was worth it man.

After around 5 songs, Ronin came on!
I say, they really rocked the house down. When Electrico came on later, the lead singer said that Ronin had already blown off the roof top, so there's nothing left for them to do so they'd blow off our pants instead. And guess what?


No this is not any photoshopped picture okay. Bahaha.

There was this part where Levan, the lead singer, asked Darryn the bassist to go down with their toy devil's fork to 'fork you' - or choose someone up. Darryn almost bumped into me and Liz (we were too short). He stared at the both of us before pulling me up onstage.
AND I WAS THE ONLY ONE UP THERE LA.
I don't know why I ended up being the only one up there even though Darryn did choose others. Urghh.
But heck man, I just enjoyed myself up there and screamed into the mike with Levan. HEH.
'Bang, Bang you're just an Animal!'


More Ronin!

Electrico was dead good also.. One of their songs (Much More Inside, I think) is a clever mix of Bossa Nova and Indie Rock. Very, very nice. Had to leave after their 3rd song though, because we didn't want to miss the last bus and Liz stays.. Very far. Heh.



These are the distortion pedals the lead guitarist from Electrico used. Madness.

Had a bottle of Stella Artois (pronounced arh-tuahh) which tastes like Tiger Beer.. Only gulped it down before leaving Bar None. Xb finished his into the 2nd song of Ronin, that's how high he was, lol. I thought somebody didn't want to come lor?! Bahaha. Thank God he came afterall, if not there'd be no camera. Heh.
Which reminds me - the 2nd song is 'Do what thou wilt', and when they sang that line during the chorus, it sounded like 'you want tao huayy!'
It does okay! During PowerJam they performed this song, so I recognised it straightaway.

When we walked out of Bar None and into the lobby of Marriot hotel, Darryn was sitting on one of the chairs talking to these 2 girls. He asked me if I'd gotten my free CD, and I said no.
So he went down and got me their EP. Whee. Not star-struck enough to ask for his autograph though (I can hear Xb shouting "Beni!! Stop being so funglam!!).
Sorry la Xb. I was being funglam the whole day in town la okay? Hurhur. Xb regretted not bringing a paperbag to cover his head in. No wait - he can't do that. He'd look funglam himself. Bahaha.

Outside Marriot, the lead guitarist (Shawn - he's pretty good) was holding hands with his girlfriend (I assume, since she shocked everyone - and weirdly enough, himself - by going up onstage and giving him a 5-second frencher). We were already a distance away when he called out, "Hey Ronin girl!! Byee!!"
Heh. He was quite nice when I was onstage - asked me to 'just enjoy myself'.

Just received an email from Ronin (I added myself to their website's contact list), and they asked anyone who "knows that brave girl who came onstage to sing 'Animal' to contact them". So I did. Heh. Go tell Levan, Eve! Hurhur.

Shiok man! I've never seen myself so psyched about all these before. Local music really is flourishing.

Some sites to go to.. (:

PowerJam 98 - Vote for Juan's Band, RAFE!!
Ronin!
Electrico!

Twinkling stars mock me in my lovelorn stupor
the Midnight sea swims into the haze shrouding me
Eyes, encrusted with salt, mutate into cursed blood jewels
Liquid clogs the chambers of my heart
the Sea breeze typhoons through my mind
your lips touch -

and suddenly i am Isolation.

Due to overwhelming response, I shall give a sneak preview on the corduroys I've got. :D :D :D



and abit more of me.

I'm supposed to be already at Cambodia (which seems like a much more wonderful place than here), 3431 miles from this place full of mixed emotions, happily building my children's playground and catching bird flu from Takmau.
But right now, I'm feeling so polarized that I want to get away for a year at least.
Screw bird flu.

you still have all of me.

edit_ Here's a good one. Enjoy.

Tom: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
Harry: A woodchuck could chuck no amount of wood since a woodchuck cant chuck wood.
Tom: But if a woodchuck could chuck and would chuck some amount of wood, what amount of wood would a woodchuck chuck?
Harry: Even if a woodchuck could chuck wood, and even if a woodchuck would chuck wood, should a woodchuck chuck wood?
Tom: A woodchuck should chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood, as long as a woodchuck would chuck wood.
Harry: Oh. Shut up.

4 hours of sleep
+
Up and about the whole day
+
Climbing Bukit Timah Hill with 45 degree slopes and the killer steps
=
ACHES. ALL. OVER.

My legs almost gave up on me halfway up Bukit Timah Hill. I could literally feel my muscles stretched to the point of snapping, and now my neck and shoulders are aching. Went there with my fellow JUMP members, who are the older youths of the youth fellowship. Had a good time yeah (:
My fingers are sore again from playing the guitar. Been a long time since I last touched it. Boohoo.

Well, as Juan blogged, we went to get our jeans today! Ha.
It was some ulu place, and Juan just blindly walked where he thought correct. He couldn't even remember where we walked in from la.
And I thought men had a better sense of direction than women! Or so they thought, hurhur.
I got my corduroys!! Whee. Cream coloured, and super comfy. Lalala. Juan got this Levis' lookalike pair, and its fine on him la.
He's gonna get another pair on Thursday anyway.. Lucky dude.

The famous Thomson Rd prata stall has disappointed me with their cheese prata.. The cheese was the dreaded, overwhelming Cheddar. I hate anything more than a morsel of melted Cheddar. Yeah, even if its melted - which is the only form of cheese I like.
I only like Mozzarella. Parmesan is only passable..Bah.
Anyway, the prata is good, but not the cheese. You get the drift.
Thanks for the company, Juan!

Rain rain go away. Go away - on Wednesday, at least. (:

Shucks I just realised that I would have been flying to Cambodia in 9 hours' time if that ruddy bird flu didn't break out at the area we were supposed to go to.
BAH BAH BAHHHH. ):

hate.

edit_ Idiot Juan!! Yeah la. I didn't think I was showing him my butt la can? I was just showing him the tag!! Darn it. Not THAT context okayyy!! Bahaha.

This - made my day. Thank you Char and Eve for being SO damn sweeet. The friends I never had. Thank you so, so much again.. (:



Yeah this was my dinner, how pathetic. Taste is so-so only. Still prefer the mixed berry one. The camera's a 2.0 pixel one, so the pic's kinda grainy. Sorry I'm talking in one-liners.



My sis and I. Just bathed, and she was half-asleep when I dragged her out. Hurr.

Just saw the ex's testimonial to my godbro and friendster profile, and had a good laugh (smirk, more like) out of it. No, I never added him to my list. And surprise - he didn't add me either.
Well, he never changes, does he. The ever-loyal and caring and whatnot persona he tries to portray, and I just balk at the mere memory of him and I. Four months, and a basketball broke us up. Whee.
So what if he was the first and the last? My loss of faith in relationships wasn't only because of him.
'Relationships' and 'Benita' simply never ever sounded good together.
Ok I shall not waste airtime on some slight, unmeritable figure.

Its pouring outside and inside, and I'm shivering in the cold alone.
Maybe I shall attempt to sleep earlier tonight.
I'm tired.

It's so excruciating, I'm numb -
Numb to the core.
Tears jam my broken spirit
and I'm choking in my dreams.
So please, just make it easier. Smother me and never let me
awaken in this swallowing abyss of thorns, pain and fire.
It is all so clear - I was only an object of desire.
Say no more.

I don't want anymore hope, nor anymore lies.
My heart is bled into non-existence; it thus bleeds no further.

testing 

Ok so I did a skin. Ripped it off from some skin real hard, took only the frames and modified them extensively.
So don't need to credit okay.
Right, right. I know what you're thinking.. Its quite PINK right? Ha. So un-Benita hor. Hor hor hor.
Thank God for photoshop too.. Whee.

Badminton with xb this morning. Two boys - pri 4 and 6 - challenged us.
I'm kinda appalled to see little kids so fompetitive for their age. They thought we were lousy (at first, dammit), and made all kinds of comments amongst themselves whenever we won a point.
They are cute little boys la, but sorry man, they turned me off with their disrespect.

Anyhow, T106-ers:
Details of the class BBQ party@Ming's next Saturday, 30 October - is up!!
Yihan's and Serene's blogs has 'em. Go see. ;)

The other day (Monday) we went to Queensway Shopping Centre, I went to check out the LEE jeans shops and see what designs they had in store.
Apparently them jeans will definitely be a parent-pleaser. You get the drift eh. Ha.

So when the rest and I stepped in the first shop (which was manned by these 2 indian men, well all the shops were run by indians), he said:

"Hi, looking for jeans? Levis?"

Me: "Erm, no. I'm looking for, ah, Lee jeans."
Momentary silence, shop goes quiet. Well, there were only 2 other men to begin with.
Indian: "LEE? (pause) Oh sure, sure. We have. Here.."

What was with the pause? I hoped he wasn't wondering why I wanted his own pair of jeans (Ali, gettit) but nevermind.
Didn't try any on, so I'm not too sure how they'll look like on me.
The other shops all had abit of the same stunned faces when I asked to see LEE jeans.
Perhaps the air in the shop has always been inhaled by 40+ year olds, so I was, literally, a breath of fresh air, all pun intended. :D

I can only go collect them on Saturdays from what, 11am-2pm? How 'exclusive'.
Am not even sure where the darn place is. Some warehouse of theirs.. And I can only go get my jeans and then scoot. Got some church meeting at 2.
Hope I don't end up walking like a duck - like that Power98 DJ Shareen, whose walking style (and butt) I believe, was the talking point of everyone present at the Semis. It didn't help that she was wearing heels. Ohman. And her face - cannot make it la. So she was kinda a walking joke. But the jeans looked quite fitting on her.. Black. Naw, I wanna Corduroy!
Whee.

Feel like changing my blogskin, but I haven't seen any I like, or have any design in mind. Ohwell.
Woke up at 12+, slacked the day away.. I still feel very tired though.

Only one thing - Albums updated. (:

Yeah, yeah. Another artyfartyy. Heh.



(ABCd) E: Wish you were here... HURHUR.



Today, in a nutshell (:
__

No sun definitely doesn't mean no fun, as the Wank-gers have proven.
Ok I came up with that term, no prizes for guessing. Heh.
I laughed so much, I have been farting like nobodies' business for the past 2 hours.
And we will never look at each other the same again too right, Liz and Char? Bahaha.

Well, well, well. Seems like a fun-filled holiday is coming up! I have decided to give tuition.
Is there anyone out there who has sisters or brothers in Primary school who needs English, Chinese, Maths or Science tuition? Please sms/call me at 91080205.
Kids and parents will love me, and so will the results. Bahaha.
It's time I supported myself abit in order to fufill my selfish monetary desires.

Tomorrow will be a stay-home day. Yay. Night.

Trying my hand at taking artsy shots. hurr. 

Nggaahh mah oily face. 

I've let myself down, and JLo too. Boohoo.
He's so gonna balk and choke on the gum he's chewing and flip over and vomit blood and turn green and die when he sees what we have written.
I literally came up with my own Public Relations Tools (think sales personnel, name cards and internet services) and there goes 15 marks. No, make that 20 marks. I couldn't define Public Relations clearly.. Couldn't remember a thing. Thank God I knew what was the 3 types of Product Advertising but I couldn't define Advertising. Just couldn't remember what I'd read, bah.
I admit, I didn't study proper for this. Skipped about chapters and my mind was all over the place. No, more like something was infiltrating my head and I had to literally slap myself out of it. Wrote the most in the longest time also. Ha.

After the paper and many many photograph takings, went to Queensway Shopping Centre - been ages since I last set foot there. Me, Eve, Serene, Liz. Dropped by Ikea for their meatballs and chicken wings which I have been craving for a long time, whee.
Bought a pair of superrr comfy white drawstring pants for a steal, and me and Eve are going back for another pair of purple and blue drawstrings. Lalala.

Right, too many posts for the day already. Have a great holiday everyone! Will miss T106. Someone organise outings etc. k!!

Hey dear, I know it sucks damn lots for you right now, and it pains me a lot to see you hurting so badly.
I will always be here if you need someone. Loves.

So its 5 1/2 hours to the Marketing Exam, and the weather outside has already forecast my results.
Shake me awake, slap me, bite me, chop off my head (recommended) please, somebody.

Off to mug while I still can.

It has been raining perpetually, and it hasn't stopped since 251203.

Presenting... the part of Wanker Inc who went to PowerJam in support of Juank. (:



My favourite picture of the year. Hurr. My idea, Xb's fingers. keekles.

To the John Kerry who tagged my blog: its so funny, I'm laughing. Serene has Julia Roberts,

Totally moodless today, simply didnt feel like smiling or talking or thinking or whatnot.
I don't know why myself. Just feeling super sian. Tried to study in church but to not much avail.
Nothing could enter my head la. It is on holiday already, far far away in Hawaii dreaming of the sun, sand and sea over there.
Here's my dream: To retire by 35, be single all my life and go to Hawaii to become a surfer. Or if I don't manage to hit my millions, I shall earn just enough to emigrate and be a oyster-diver. Mauritius, Maldives, Malibu, or even Thailand. Anywhere away from Singapore and concrete. Just sand and sea.

And I digress yet again. Well as I was saying, I can't study. So after going home to change, it was off to Junwei's for Tennis. Yup again! Lalala. I'm hooked. I shall try master that damn sport, then I shall aim to do softball. Or maybe handball. But my knees are in abit of a shock now (its kinda painful below the kneecap), and so is my right wrist (due to the ball's force on the racquet). Bah. Don't care - I've had a great workout.

When I should be doing Marketing. DIE.
I'd better run along now.

Whatever happened to my motivation and priorities man. GAH.

HAPPY 17th BIRTHDAY EMILEEN LIM!! Thanks for being such a wonderful dear and one of -my bestest friends since we were running about church in pampers (:
I LOVE YOU!!
_______

Today was Super (:
Met Xb to go down to Kallang to meet Liz, Serene, Eve and Jonathan C first and we had lunch at Macs. Guess what we did on the 985? Read Marketing. Hoho. I brought Advertising and Pricing notes, so we tried to absorb as much as we could. I don't think it was any successful la, but ohwell. Xb brought his digicam, and I AM IN LOVE WITH PHOTOGRAPHY TOO. Ha. Its really addictive, I must say. It seems now that everything and anything can be in a tastefully taken picture - even the dustbin can look good in a picture. Which is what I managed to do. LOL. Took what, 100+ photos in all today - artistic shots, band shots.

Oh now the highlight of the day: The PowerJam competition. RAFE (Juan's band) is in the FINALS!! Manohmannn I will definitely go and support them in Zouk on the 26 of October. And no, Char, I don't like clubbing and never will. I'm psyched about the competition, not the club okay!

Well back to the topic. Yeah as everyone of us present will agree, that the competition rocked. Literally. The bands who made it to the finals are: RAFE, Zhen, Recluse, Oranje and Supernova.
Zhen has a dead good bassist - and that's not the point. The point is, she's a female. And you don't see many female rockers around who can REALLY ROCK.
Recluse is made up of ex-FMS students, Xb's ex-churchmates too. Cool. Got to know Liang, their guitarist. Ha.

Nothing much about Oranje and Supernova, but Supernova's lead singer has a voice ala a mixture of Creed and 3 Doors Down. Nicee.
Ok I'm biased, RAFE still is the best. Hurr. Great groove, great musicians, great people, great vocals... Whee. I'm taken. Me (was unoffically their photographer for the day) and Xb were running about taking photos of the band while they were playing, so I couldn't enjoy their songs much. But even when I was up there I was nodding my head to the beat. Lala. And they were the first band through. Whee. They have a high chance of winning, honestly. I guess the main competition comes from Zhen and Recluse, the only other 2 bands which I personally liked.

Oh and I won a $100 LEE voucher. Hurhur. The last giveaway required items which first letters will spell out the word 'POWER', and I was like what the hell, just go get it la. So, courtesy of Eve, I had : a sanitary Pad (which the other DJ forced Mario to hold on his hands), Oil blotters, Water, Earrings and a Ring. Poof. I have my vouchaaaar.
Juan, you have one too right? Let's go down to that ulu place to get our jeannnns!!
(Levis, I'm sorry for betraying you :( )

Ok this is starting to become a really long post, but whocares. I'm risking Marketing okay.
Well after the gig I went to Rose's to play tennis, and boy I'm hooked. Urghh. My 2nd time playing... And this time I got to play more as compared to the last, where 10 people ruled one court. Ha. It really feels good whenever I have a good hit and the green ball flies fast and hard and nicely into the other court. I even managed a short rally with Crystal, the Nanyang-tennis-player. Hurhur. Gotta practise backhand hits though.

This hols will be all about Music and Sports!
It's gonna be one helluva holiday. Whee. Oh no. I need to get a job.

Bored online?
Turn up your speakers, get your Windows Media Player ready, enlarge the 'Now Playing' screen,

And enjoy.

Damn cute commercial

Damn crazy guy.

Am off to Juan's gig. Whee.
I think I've just gave Marketing the boot. Bad.

A raggedy doll flung onto the shelf

soundless tears mocking her as the clock cries twelve

tattered and torn; weathered and worn

watching her owner whisper -



Never mind. I can't bring myself to finish this.
Goodnite.

LIN XUANBIN!!
Thanks soooooo much for your help man. Could've died without it.. I owe you a treat this time! Been a super long time since we last even talked la, much less online. Grr. What happened to my closest male pal man.
We gotta catch up again real soon eh. (:
And YES I'm done with my flash. I think I'll try to touch it up any way I can before I submit it.. Nothing special, but I guess I'll get a C at least. Ha.

Gwen's post made me realise my Pathetic Physique, a result of daily basketball from Primary 3 to Secondary 3. Then again, I would have been a very sickly person if not for the exercise I guess (read: No.9).

Here goes:

1. Bad ankles, wearing out achilles tendon & occasionally cramping toes;
2. Rickety knees which take turns to creak beneath my weight;
(I think I have mild arthritis already. Not joking.)
3. Almost perpetually strained calf and thigh muscles;
4. Tailbone tip which isn't too perfect anymore (due to a rollerblading accident 3 years ago);
5. Weak wrists which are abit off tangent (and I have to 'crack' it back occasionally);
6. Aching shoulders and neck;
7. Myopia and astigmatism;
8. Mild sinusitis;
9. Slighty below-average blood pressure (which leads to Oxygen-deficiency at times);
10. Slower-than-normal heartbeat rate (I heard that this is a good thing though - the super fit have it.)
11. A rather botchedly-done, taped-together-with-bits-of-scotch-tape-smithereened-heart (Most Singaporeans pronounce it as 'cosh tape').

-all these before 18. Whee.

278 polarized days: K.O.

B+ for WebGra Part B!!! 78/100. BAH. What happened to the 2 marks to A!!!!
Anyhow, THANKS MING AND SERENE!! Couldn't have done it without the both of you. -HUGS.
Ok this has spurred me on to do well for the bleddy flash ass.

Even my sis can do flash can. LIZ!! URGH. Liz's Sec 1 sis taught her to do flash, and she feels that its doing nothing for her already-zero self-efficacy towards computers.
Liz, my sis is PRI 5. Gah. But I'm proud of her! Heh.
Thanks to her, I have this thick Macromedia Flash+Dreamweaver guidebook to rely on while I crack my head at my half-done flashass.
Am only pissed at my helplessness at making the actions script part and how to make the buttons start the movie.

B for Marketing project, B for individual too. I'm satisfied!
Just abhorr the memorisation required for Marketing Exam. Bah, humbug.

Realised that my patience is wearing thin nowadays. I'm not as level-headed as usual.
Urgh what's happening? I'd better start keeping my emotions and temper in check. They're starting to irritate, annoy and scare me.

Flash is pissing me off real bad.

Haven't gotten so pissed in a real long time.
It's making everything piss me off.

I need a real punchbag.
I want to swear.

Finished Dan Brown's Digital Fortress on Saturday.
Started the book at about 4pm, when I decided that Chinese opera wasn't so appealing anymore, there was nothing good on TV, and I didn't have a clue on how to go about doing Flash. Finished the book at 11pm.
Paused only for abit of after-dinner TV, laughing at Mr Careless Whisper on (where else) Singapore Idol. The mic at his mouth helped him be louder this time, but still, sorry man. The increased volume didn't matter. Try harder.

Ok, back to the book.

This next sentence is going to be abit of a spoiler, unless his other books (which I haven't read) do not follow the same pattern.
Digital Fortress and the Da Vinci Code is similar in the sense that usually the people who yield the most power and seem to be the protagonist (apart from the hero/heroine, usually a younger person) is in fact, the mastermind behind it all.

Bad guys die, good guys live, some happily ever after. Predictable? Yes. Cliche? Definitely. Boring? Well, then again, isn't this what everyone wants in an ending?

Somehow once I read the very first two chapters, I could already guess the whole plot outline rather accurately. However to make it up for the predictable (to me) plot, the book managed to allow myself to sit back and indulge in the writer's ability to make me drawn to the book with his fluid writing. The sequence of events jump from character to character involved, but they still do fall nicely into place and do not make a mess of the story. Dan Brown opens the minds of the characters, big or small, revealing every thought - effectively allowing me follow up on the events and characters. Visualising the whole novel was pretty much easier too.

Surprisingly, this book is a very 'humane' book, so to speak. Dan Brown candidly reveals weaknesses in all characters; antagonist or protagonist. Humans and their over-reliance on technology, twisted with moral values and loyalty, and the human's dominion by self-worth, love and money are the underlying themes. Almost no mention of religion this time, apart from a scene in a cathedral and a very subtle dig at Catholics.

Even though Dan Brown's most infamous book has made this book seem mild in comparison, and a definite disappointment to those seeking more controversy, this is a great read after all.
Four stars.

2am to 12pm.

Finally caught that elusive more-than-4-hours of sleep which all us t106 people have been sorely missing out on.
Orgasmic.
I think I'm gonna have problems re-adjusting my sleep when school reopens.

Forced my butt into bed after much self-chiding, self-reflection and self-denial.
And here I am, feeling 328979221 times better, though I wished I had been more understanding so that I wouldn't have played with my own backside and caused myself these unnecessary distress, but ohwell.

Emotions are the most unfathomable creatures in this soddy world.
I have revealed my greatest fear, if you hadn't realised. Emotions.

Everyone is out celebrating or just out, but I don't feel like stepping out of the house, don't feel like doing anything, don't feel like staying at home, don't feel like doing nothing either.
Whee. I'm the oxyMoron.

So I shall henceforth resign to becoming a couch potato and stoning my brains off Kids' Central. Dang, Pokemon's over. Chinese opera looks good.

OH DAMMIT DAVID YEO'S OUT OF SINGAPORE IDOL!?!
Yeah I'm slow, but whywhywhy!!
Grr. Screw all those little girls who sms their thumbs crazy in support for Sylvester Sim. He should just go to Taiwan and be another of those karaoke/heartbreaker idols who has boyish looks but is just another forgettable act. I give him 3 months on the market, and he'll be gone.

David Yeo has that down-to-earth characteristic which I'm drawn to, but then again, its a sooner or later thing that he got kicked out I guess. But damndamndamn.
What to do. This is Singapore Idol, not Singapore Substance Singer.

This is an uncharacteristically long, random post, but whatever.
(Just realised that I use alot of 'buts'. Its a sign.)


You are green. Perhaps one of the most balanced of
all the colors. By balanced, I mean balanced
in both bad and good parts. Let me elaborate:
You're a natural, and somewhat superficial
person. You're extremely generous, but, to add
to the confusion, you're frugal and stingy.
You're a forgiving, but jealous person. You're
imaginative, but still logical. At sometimes,
you're a complete neat-freak, and other times,
you're a total slob. You're very stable, but
undependable. But onto the other traits that
are associated with this color... You're a
stubborn person, simply put. Do you believe in
Feng Shui? Green is closely related to the
thought of having a balanced environment, you
know. When in a bad situation, you're
painfully pessimistic, and when you're in a
good situation, you're extremely optimistic. A
fairly outgoing and amused person, you enjoy
talking to people, and hearing their thoughts
on different things. As a plus, when people
hang around you, it seems like time passes by
all the more quickly.

What color are you? (Amazingly detailed & accurate--with pics!)

The words simply wouldn't come out, but you don't know how much this little time meant to me.
Just felt real stupid - its my ego, I know.

You have your own desires to do stuff you want to, I know. I guess I was being selfish.
Wished that you didn't think that you were obliged though. I could see that you did.
I'd rather you not - at all - than feel obliged to, and my heart sank ten thousand miles under the sea.
Suffocated in my delirium.

Yes I should let go. It is about time.. Game over.
I know, I know, I know.

..But I just couldnt help feeling this way.



Whatever it is, just don't comment on this please.

I'm falling in love with you all over again..Harder than before this time.
My heart races just seeing you,
and you in my hands makes me feel like you're working magic in me - and that magic keeps getting stronger.
But many a time though my spirit is willing, my flesh is weak.
I still disappoint. You, and myself.
How hard do I fight to keep my heartbeat in check, everytime I play with you.
I love you, yet I hate you. I hate that hold you have on me.
Venting my frustration and anger on you hurts me bad, and I ache after every one of those times.
Its pure exhilaration listening to your rhythm in response to my heart's song.. and I start missing you as soon as I leave you.
Not that you're gone already, but yeah.
I miss
.
.
.
my drumset. :D



andI'llmissyou.

I'M FREEEEE!!!
FREEEEEEE!!
FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

Oh dang. It's only Writcomm, Socpsy, Radio, CATS/IAC and, and, and.......... That's all.
4 down, 2 to go.

Flash Assignment (which I don't really have an idea how to start, but I do know how to use flash. I think.)
and..
Marketing Exam.

I know - I will study Marketing in the day, attempt flashing at night.

Prop Ess, Flashing, Radio Ass, Socpsy Ass, ass, ass, ass. I think MCM's something toward the kinky side.
Anywayyyy.

THANKS LOOLOO FOR BEING SUCH A WONDERFUL PROJECT MATE!
Don't know what I could've done without you. -winks.

ITS (almost) OVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!

Latest from my sister's blog:

"warning:copyright status ok stop extractin things from here to a person i noe who is doing that:) pay if u want to but i noe its not worth it so stop warning:copyright status"

ed: Ok, sorry Bennie. (:

Some extracts from my sis' blog.. 11-year-olds never fail to amuse me. (: But I'm not very amused at her spelling and grammar.. Well perhaps it's because she can only blog in secret. Banned from computers, she is now.
ed: Ah, finally a non-angsty post. Nice attempt by the big sis to salvage little sis' language.

"stop it ok ..stop pushin zhi hao near me ok..he's disgusting but u need not mention him infront of me and keep askin him to face me with his butt and ..keep comin closer to me ok i can't stand it so u did better stop if not..."
ed: Grr. no one shows my sis their butt except for me.!!

"exams exams how i wish u were not here how i wish there was no skool but a place were kids interacted instead of h.w.,exams,and studyin..kids play games tok to each other and had fun..would tis even come true??! juz stop remindin me bout exams remind me of the fun not the unfun things."
ed: Poor dear. Oh well, we all have go through it sooner or later. I realised 4/5 of our lives are spent complaining about work. Whichever kind it is.

"erm...i kind of actually not believe that jerry did not get out..jeassea u r obviously much much better den him..y u not him got out??seriously u have to be the next one to be out ..jerry..or not..enough of this..wad on the earth actually happened?"
ed: Jessea, you've gotten yourself a fan. Ok I'm just glad that my sis ain't tone deaf, heh. Ok last one.

"unlucky day...yesterday nite got fever of 38.7 slept at 9 p.m. so no time to blog..stupid leon..sae he organize the party(huang lao shi put him in charge)he went to clear all the sweets on our table,took the blue colour children day present which the school gave and gave us mostly pink and yellow that was the onli colour left all because they chose.left us we crazy colours..cannot go out to play so sad...all cause of the exams.is this a happy children day??we could not even walk about to get the food we want in the party this called a party?NO!this is a restraunt..perhaps a high class one but we dun enjoy it..leon chan even hit me is that permitted?by teacher?there was NO teacher controlin us..for all the periods until recess..hated the party instead of likin it as long as there is leon chan the party is NO FUN..make sure leon chan does not see this:) "

ed: Make sure SHE doesn't see this. (: Sorry about the non-angsty-post-promise, but my sis sure is one angsty person though. Heh.

The harsh realities of life - existent everywhere.

Say in Mass Comm, the School of Botched Bitching.

If you are deemed competent, guards are put up against you during project work.
If you are deemed incompetent, disparaging devilry and sublimal sneerings will be aimed at you.
I digress - think I'm starting to get addicted to alliteration.

People will despise you in their hearts, yet sticker a smile on their faces. Get ready to get your heart ripped out during Peer Evaluation.
Who cares if you are a harmless soul. Everyone walks around with a dagger behind their backs, ready to thrust it at the slightest opportunity available.

Face it - when it comes to work, character takes 2nd place.

And yet, even if you do your assigned parts but it is not of standard - you get looked down upon with backs turned.
I bet everyone of us - me included - have walked around looking at people with distaste, wondering what they are doing in MCM.
A-million-and-two people should have been in Mass Comm instead of you.

This is sad irony that we are being exposed to the polarized, not-so-hidden aspects of the communications industry amidst all these earning of skills, learning to work with others and maximising potentials.

Then again, at the end of the day, I stick to my old view - I won't give two hoots about whether they are wasting space here. No one's perfect; I have my own flaws too. Ultimately, time will tell.

I find it a real challenge here to have compassion and empathy constantly ballast my heart, and I certainly am taking it up.

My brain is in 3 modes:

1. Holiday mode
2. Shopping mode
3. ______ mode

Sorry LooLoo if I seemed so distracted while attempting Writcom today. Sorry Anne for Radio too. Brain's kinda switched off already..
I don't know why I'm so disillusioned.

I so wanted to cuss and swear when I heard of Serene my LooLoo's enlistment to National (dis)Service of a particular country which prides themselves as truly asia.
Serene: Why can't they just pick school dropouts!!
Duhh. I hope that she can get deferred. Gah. THEY CANNOT TAKE HER AWAY LIKE THAT!!
How they chose? By RANDOM, for shitssake.

But I'm helpless.

I so want to pop Mahathir's balls, chop them off their rotting hanging gardens of Kuala Lumpar, shred them and deep fry them in hot PIG's oil, force feed them to him and make his wife watch the whole process. Then I shall release a thousand swines infested with STDs into the M'sian parliament state building and flood the place with pig's blood. I will personally take Abdullah Badawi and throw him into a room filled with sexually-charged pigs and boars, and broadcast his orgasmic screams of Ecstacy on worldwide TV (hail, Wanker Inc.), with Anwar singing So Do Mi in the background. Or should I let Abdullah taste Anwar's libido too? Great. I shall give Anwar the promise of state control, then I will throw him into the room to fornicate Abdullah. I shall sell the broadcast rights to CNN and BBC for 12 million Euro each, and I will get knighted after that with a pink toothless smile by sweet, dear old Elizabeth II.

Diediedie you sexist, chauvinistic, neanderthal martians. Think we no fairer than our sex? Go pick on someone else of your own puny ball size. I demand you lower the price of water which you don't even have the ability to desalinate them yourself. Give us our water, if not we will mix in pig's urine the next time we sell them back to you, at that current pathetic price you imbeciles have forced upon us.
I wanna crash a plane full of pigs into the Petronas towers. I wanna start a strait war. Who will join me? Wanker Inc, you're down to help our Semen, which man could not have existed without. Don't back out on me now, T106.

But I'm helpless.

Golly, I'd better watch my language.

disclaimer: if any of the above do really happen, do not look for me. perhaps those brainless idiots got their idea from me. that's all. anyone could have thought of it too, duh.

What goes round, comes round.

How I wish life was square. Well, at least I have 3 chances to run or make amends before I meet my Maker.
(Its alright if you don't see any link. Rambling scattered thoughts here.)

Life is about choices. Make them or break them, its up to you.

At the end of the day, just be able to face yourself and God.

Can you? I can't. Who can?

Talk the walk, walk the talk.

It's so easy to let words come out.

Last bit to go which I'll do tomorrow later, and its Finito

Most satisfying project of all the ones I've done.

Oh yeahh.

Marketing rocks my brains.

I likeeeee.